My Sex Life [Is On Tumblr]

Slut.

I was laying in bed post-sex with Katrina this weekend, and I said to her, “You’re a slut, whatcha got to say about that?” (We have relationships such that we like to jokingly degrade each other)

She replied, “You’re a bigger one.”

I conceded the loss :)

Bleh

Pictures like those in http://lookatmyhugecock.tumblr.com/ and http://isawyourdickonline.tumblr.com make me feel bad. (WARNING, penises ahoy in those links. don’t visit if you’re not comfortable with your sexuality)

I’m not poorly endowed, I’m infact a little above average, but the fact that no matter how much I could wish for it, the fact I’ll almost never get a “WOAH your dick is HUGE” reaction in my life sort of upsets me.

And I know it has it’s disadvantages. Katrina, whom I’m closest with lately, was telling me she had one guy that was abnormally hung, and that it hurt to a BAD degree. And also that, honestly, my sex was the best she’s had ever (rated 9/10).

So yes, I know very well its not the size but what you do with it, but there’s something about that reaction of surprise and wonder that I long for…. perhaps my latent narcissism cropping up…

"If I cum now, will it be too soon?" or Why guys are quiet in bed. →

This is dead on accurate for me. Sex is like one gigantic puzzle I’m trying to solve that happens to throw physical stamina into the puzzle solving requirements just to make it harder. Every girl is a different puzzle, with different tricks to solve….

Except I’m not dead silent in bed. I’ve actually been told I make more noise than most guys (and I assure you it isn’t excessive). But a majority of the time during sex, my brain is running rampant trying to make sure I’m doing everything JUST RIGHT.

aego:

by Jon Elkins

“Why are guys so quiet in bed?” And while this is by no means true for all guys, here is my answer.


Guys are quiet in bed because we are too busy thinking. You heard me right. Thinking. Deep thoughts. You see, it seems to generally the guy’s job, (at least in my experience) to make the girl feel as good as possible and have sweet, sweet orgasms. The girl, on the other hand, is generally content to just lay back and see what I’ve got to offer. Again, I can’t speak for anyone else, this is just in my personal experience.

Not only am I thinking during sex, I am multi-tasking. My neuro-net processor of a brain is pounding algorithms as fast as my penis is pounding pussy.

Just what is going through my head during sex? Like the moon, this is a frontier so far journeyed only by man. But here is a small window of what goes on in my head during sex:

“Alright, time for some action”
“I hope I don’t fuck up this time”
“Is that the right hole?”
“Oh wait, there it is”
“All right, lets start out slow”

It isn’t long before my thoughts turn into a quiet panic.

BRAIN: “Damn, she just moved.”
BRAIN: “Did I do something right, or did I hurt her”

BRAIN: “She’s making noises!”
BRAIN: “Pain noises or pleasure noises?”
BRAIN: “Let try stepping up the pace a little”

BRAIN: “Damn, what was I doing before?”
BRAIN: “Fuck it, lets try a different position”
WOMAN: “OUCH!”
BRAIN: “Yeah….that one was definitely pain>
WOMAN: “What are you doing?”
BRAIN: “Mayday! Mayday!”
BRAIN: “Decrease Velocity!”
BRAIN: “Open flaps”
BRAIN: “Landing gear engaged”
BRAIN: “Disengage primary thrusters”
BRAIN: “Systems check”
ME: “You allright?”
WOMAN: “Uh….Yeah”
BRAIN: “No system damage”
ME: “Allright, lets try this again”

—five minutes later….computer pretty much takes over—

BRAIN: “Allright, back on track”
*Moans increasing in volume and frequency*
BRAIN: “Target in sight, hold position”
*Full body blush commencing*
BRAIN: “C’mon…….C’mon”
*Back arching*
BRAIN: “Hold it……Hold it…..”
COMPUTER: WARNING! WARNING!
COMPUTER: ERR-ERR-ERR
BRAIN: “Oh shit”
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD IMMINENT
BRAIN: “Oh shit, not yet!”
*Moaning above 80 decibals*
BRAIN: “Just a little longer”
COMPUTER: DANGER HULL INTEGRITY
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD COMMENCING
BRAIN: “FUCK! I’m not going to make it”
BRAIN: “Pull out and prepare for manual override”
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD __________
BRAIN: “Pull out, pull out”
COMPUTER: AUTO PILOT ENGAGED
BRAIN: “NO! UNENGAGE! UNENGAGE!”
COMPUTER: TARGET LOCKED….TARGET LOCKED
BRAIN: “If I cum now, will it be too soon?”
BRAIN: “If I cum now, will it be too soon?”
BRAIN: “If I cum now, will it be too soon?”
COMPUTER: *Target heart rate reached*
COMPUTER: *Breathing nominal*
BRAIN: “Must….hold….on”
COMPUTER: *FEMALE ORGASM COMMENCING*
BRAIN: “can’t…..hold it”
COMPUTER:  *FEMALE ORGASM COMMENCING*
BRAIN: “Its out of my control, its in God’s hands now”
COMPUTER: “PRIMARY VALVE: EJACULATING”
*keeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrr SPLAT*
COMPUTER: “AUTOMATIC SYSTEM SHUT DOWN: COMMENCING”
*THUD*
WOMAN: “Honey, are you alright?”
ME: Yeah…..my head hurts….”
WOMAN: “Sorry”
ME: No, the other head”
WOMAN: “What?”
ME: ”Nothing”
ME: Did you cum”
WOMAN: “What, you didn’t notice”
ME: Actually, I was kinda too busy to notice”
WOMAN: “You’re so weird”
ME: You should try being the pilot next time”
WOMAN: “Get off me, I need to pee”

Do you ever find that pre-orgasm expression on a guys face funny?
Ever wonder what he’s feeling”
Its not pain
Its not pleasure
It is deep, hard, seething thought.

My Weekend, Part 3

^Another shot of my neck, again, beardiness due to “No Shave November.” I don’t like to edit my photos, but I have a faded blur on the bottom cause it has some identifiable stuff there. Also contrast adjustments but that’s just cause my camera blows.

^ I hate wearing clothes. Also, you can now see my skinniness. You can see a couple of the scratches Kat left on my lower body. There were a bunch more, but they’re too light to distinguish.

Cue End of Food Coma

I guess this one will be a bit shorter. The sex was better than the night before, but not too much changed.

After we exited our food comas, we fooled around until we worked off our clothes, and proceeded to work on leaving some more marks.

After the marks, I fucked her from behind while I spanked and whipped her again. i was a bit harder with the whip since we determined it’s a bit softer than we expected. I really wailed on her, and she enjoyed it, and it was quite cathartic for me, to be fucking and beating the crap out of her at the same time haha.

Apparently the whipping was audible downstairs by her roommates. They’re into that stuff too though, so it was funny, not weird.

We fucked in a few different positions. She eventually rode me for a bit, then I flipped her into missionary and came inside her.

We chilled with her roommates who were both drunk and/or high, until the one sober person with a license came home from work to drive me home.

Anywho, I hope you enjoyed these posts, and their supplementary pictures :P

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Ask me questions. Anything goes!


I wanna some stuff for when I wake up/have time to check tomorrow! :P

http://mysexlifeison.tumblr.com

2 more posts scheduled to come out tonight!

My Weekend, Part 2

Link to Part 1: http://mysexlifeison.tumblr.com/post/1521357241/my-weekend-part-1

^ A couple of my battle scars from this weekend (It’s pretty hard to leave marks on me). And I’m not normally bearded, just participating in a little “No Shave November”

^ Really awkward angle, showing the part of Katrina’s scratches that lasted (because they broke skin a little bit)

Saturday Morning

After a night of sweating it out over some hot rough sex, we both needed out sleep. We woke up a a decent hour, slowly, talking, sleeping some more, playing around a bit (not sexually).

Amidst the playing, I gave her a (unsolicited) back massage, and she returned the favor. While she was massaging me, her nails kept hitting my skin, and I had an itch to get scratched, so I instructed her to put her hand on my shoulders and scratch all the way down.

That’s how I got the picture in my last post. It felt so great, and then the after feeling was like a cool fiery feeling.

This went a on for a long while, until I finally fessed up to her,

"I’m honestly not sure which I want more: to fuck, or to get something to eat"

"Wow. My thoughts exactly"

I guess that explains both our apprehension to push our play forward.

We decided food would make for more energetic sex later, but we both needed a shower, so we could play around a bit in the shower, then grab some delicious food at a local steakhouse.

So we headed over to the shower. she turns the shower, and turns around. I immediately push her up against the wall and begin making out with her. She’s was a pretty naked girl, how could I resist that urge.

Things got hot, and then we tested the waters and hopped in.

Now, we both agreed we shouldn’t fuck in the shower because her shower’s a little small, and she’s also particularly tall, and we anted to save sex in the shower, so we didn’t have a condom or anything in there with us or anything.

We made out and grobed eachother under the hot water. I fingered her wet pussy. Something about knowing she’s wet because of ME jsut makes me so hard. She was jacking me off pretty hard.

We progressed through our showerly routines, getting both clean and dirty at the same time. I kept teasing her pussy with my cock, just to be a little evil.

At one point, I had her pressed with her chest against the wall, and my chest on her back as I was teasing her, and very quickly stuck “just the tip” in and then out.

Oh boy that moan was so delectable. She tilted her head back and whipered “This is so fucking unfair.” Haha.

I make such a great tease, because I don’t suffer from that horrid phenomena men seem to get known as “Blue Balls.” In fact, it’s not uncommon for me to not come during sex anyways because I seem to have a case of “Delayed Ejaculation”: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_ejaculation

It’s both a curse and a blessing. Thankfully, the mental high I get from getting a girl off makes sex more than worth it, even without an orgasm on my part.

Back to the story, we finished our shower, and got dressed, and headed downstairs and invited her roommates out with us.

Melissa, a little high and a couple drinks in, was pumped for meat at this delicious steakhouse.

So me, Katrina and Melissa headed down. We ordered a pitcher of the microbrew rootbeer they have on tap (seriously the most delicious stuff ever), and Melissa got a beer (she’s been dealing with ex-boyfriend issues).

Kat and Mel split a full rack of ribs, and I ordered a 14oz steak and fries. Oh so delicious.

We headed back, and proceeded to fall into a 2 hour food coma. So good.

Last part coming up later… :P

My Weekend, Part 1

(Pictured above- me the morning after, a massage, and a particularly kinky back scratch :P I got even more scratches later, some breaking skin! :D)

I figured my stories are often too long for people to read, so I figured I’d break up my weekend up into a few parts, and queue the subsequent parts so they’re released a bit farther apart.

SATURDAY NIGHT

My friend Lara (no sexual relationship) picked me up so we could head over to an event we were both attending for a club we’re both in. I don’t drive, so I often depend on her for rides. She asked me if I was hungry, cause she wanted to grab something to eat before we got there.

I told her I wasn’t particularly hungry, but I needed to stop by a convenience store.

She asked, “Oh, what do you need at a convinience store?”

"Oh, I jsut need to get…something"

"Something from a convinience store, huh? Condoms"

"Shut it Lara."

"Hahahaha. You could have just asked me for some."

Good thing we were quickly distracted, cause I didn’t want to have to explain to her that that (probably) wouldn’t work, as I use magnums, and regular condoms hurt to wear. Not that I’d care she knows, but it’s just an awkward tidbit that doesn’t need to be discussed between friends with no sexual tension.

Anywho, she drops me by a 7-11 after the event and drops me off at Katrina/Melissa’s house, where Melissa happens to be outside. I say my goodbyes and thanks to Lara and say hey to Melissa. She was on her way out to a party.

I headed in and talked to Katrina for a bit to catch up on some things.

Soon enough, we were pulling each others hair, removing our clothes, and slowly preparing for that deed we all know and love.

Aside her bed laid a cat o’ 9 tails we had been talking about using. How excellent.

Foreplay lasted a long while. Making out with me on top. Making out with her on top. While she was on top, naked, I sat up, pushed her off me, and flipped over. And gave her a nice hard smack on the ass. She moaned in approval.

I played with her soaking wet pussy, playing with the outside of her lips and her labia minora, just sort of teasing her in between spanks.  As her ass turned red, I reached for the whip, still playing with her pussy, and laid it out on her back.

Slowly, I ran the leather over her ass, and then quickly, I’d pull it away, knowing she’s expecting the whip, then do it over and over again….Until finally, I lift, and it crashes down on her ass.

From there the whipping went on and on as I played with her wet pussy. After a good 40 or 50 lashings, I flipped her over, and teased her pussy with my cock, as I usually did, and we proceeded to fuck like animals.

She came twice; the rest of the story is pretty standard rough sex, so I’ll spare those details, since this isn’t an erotic blog, but more a documentation of the more interesting experiences I’ve had.

Stay tuned for the next part of the story….the morning after…

My Saturday Night/Sunday

EAT. SLEEP. FUCK.

tripping-with-scissors: LOVE the blog!
I am a bit jealous/REALLY turned on right now lol.

Thanks! I really appreciate that people can enjoy my stories! It’s why I’m writing :D